Remaining Detached
After a session the other day, I replayed in my mind the interactions I had just experienced with my client’s dead loved one. My internal review of that reading reminded me of the importance of a psychic medium remaining detached from a sitter during a spirit communication session.
A Medium, After the Reading
Although I try to release everything associated with a client’s reading after it is over, some sessions stay with me for a while. This session was particularly difficult for me because of the nature of the death.
As I recalled my interactions with Spirit, I thought about the fact that as an evidential medium, I allow Spirit to communicate with me in whatever way they wish (within certain parameters) to express evidence of their existence. I will allow Spirit to use any of the Clairs to share their messages with me.
Personality as Evidence
The evidential information I receive from Spirit comes in many forms. One of the strongest forms of evidential information I receive from Spirit is personality. If your loved one was funny, or charismatic, or shy, or sarcastic, those personality traits will generally come through.
Establishing Rapport with Spirit
As a medium, I foster a relationship with your loved ones for the short time you allow me to work with them during your session. I communicate with your dead loved ones to translate messages on your behalf. I tend to have a really direct style with Spirit when I am communicating with them, because it is efficient, and Spirit will typically adapt to whatever style a medium uses.
Spirit Interaction IS the Message
Once in a while, a Spirit will comment about or coach me on my delivery approach or my communication style. The other day, I found this Spirit to be sensitive to my method of communication. Although it is typical of me to express rapid-fire requests of Spirit to solicit as much information as possible in the time allotted, this Spirit was sensitive to the fact that I was so demanding. Spirit’s sensitivity to my directness was part of the message to the sitter. By expressing sensitivity with my approach, Spirit conveyed personality traits to me that I could translate to the sitter.
I’m Sorry, But…
I am incredibly sensitive to Spirit, but I try to remain detached from you as my client. I see my role as a professional translator between you (the sitter) and your dead loved one(s). Of course I am compassionate regarding your loss. After a reading, I sometimes feel the pain of your loss deeply. However, during your reading, I cannot allow myself to feel that pain.
I choose to speak with your dead loved ones to provide solace, but I must provide that solace in a dispassionate way. I find that if I allow myself to focus on comforting you or worrying about how you’re reacting to the reading, I may lose my connection with your dead loved one. The psychic mind is detached, which is where I need to remain to be an effective medium.
As a psychic medium, if I allow myself to get pulled into your grief during a reading instead of remaining detached, then the focus shifts from your loved one in Spirit to you, the sitter. At that point, I am no longer a translator for the dead but rather a grief counselor, which is not a role I am trained to provide, nor do I provide that service.
So, I focus on your dead loved one.
Spirit Communication is A Medium’s Emotional Roller Coaster
Sometimes a loved one in Spirit will do something to lighten the mood if the sitter is overly upset. To the sitter who is crying, it may seem inappropriate for me to suddenly start laughing. But this outburst is often a tactic your loved one is using to redirect your focus to something other than your grief.
The messages your dead loved one communicates with me during a reading may include anything from serious reflections to jokes; repentance to righteous indignation (to name only a few). As your loved one moves through the different emotions associated with these messages, I feel the transitions. I may feel sad or happy or remorse or anger or any other emotion that Spirit allows me to feel on their behalf, so I can translate those feelings to you.
Riding Spirit’s emotional roller coaster alongside them, transitioning through a lot of emotions quickly can be exhausting to me as the medium. One minute I might be laughing and the next I might tear up.
Enmeshed with Spirit
I may become a little enmeshed with your loved ones during a reading, but I strive to remain detached from you during your session, so I can provide you with the clearest messages possible from your loved one.
Do not confuse my detachment with a lack of interest.
I have sincere concern and compassion for all of my clients.
- I want my grieving clients to be happy again.
- I want my scared clients to find courage.
- I want my anxious clients to find peace.
- …I think you get the picture.
