I recently received an email with the subject “No Regrets”. The theme of the missive was that even though in others’ eyes, the result was failure, this person had no regrets regarding his performance in trying to achieve his goal.
The subject made me think about life—specifically the connections we make with others during this life.
Life Without Regrets
I would like to live a “no regrets” life—especially in relation to other people inhabiting this planet at the same time I chose to be here.
- I try to be nice.
- I try to be kind.
- I try to be helpful.
I look for the same attributes in others.
- I want people to be nice to me.
- I want others to be kind to me.
- I want others to help me.
Sometimes it works.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
Win/Win and Missing the Mark
When I put my best foot forward and receive someone else’s best in return, all is happy in my world.
However, when I put my best foot forward and don’t receive the best in return, or someone else puts their best forward and I’m not MY best in return or worst case scenario – neither I nor the person I’m interacting with are at our best, my world is not filled with happiness.
Can I still live with no regrets even when I’m living less than a best/best scenario?
Regrets of Life (and Death)
Regret is a topic of discussion in many of my mediumship readings. Regret for doing or not doing something—generally around the time of the loved one’s death, but sometimes for a list of behaviors that were done or not done during the life of the loved one—either by the loved one or by the sitter (my client).
Generally (but not always), Spirit will be forgiving of the sitter’s guilt and remorseful for their own shortcomings. I feel we’re all just trying to figure out how to deal with the many facets of our lives that contribute to our feelings and our actions. Sometimes that might mean apologizing, or forgiving, or striving to understand a different perspective, or choosing to leave a relationship, or having someone choose to leave a relationship with us. Sometimes these changes can be painful. We may be embarrassed or defensive regarding our own behavior or incensed or saddened by the behavior of someone else.
Lessons of Life
In metaphysical circles, people often talk a lot about lessons. I like the concept of life-long learning. However, not every interaction results in a lesson and I think sometimes we ascribe the wrong lesson to a painful experience. Instead of focusing on the reason for the dissolution of a relationship as the lesson, I think it’s helpful to consider the relationship in its entirety.
Maybe you enjoyed a relationship with someone who was fun, upbeat, and who looked at life as a big ol’ party. But the flipside of that frivolity was a person whom you couldn’t depend upon and who was incapable of being serious. The lesson might be: “Don’t EVER get involved with someone who is undependable again”, if you only focus on the end of the relationship. However, the lesson could be: “I need to find a way to have more fun in my life” if you evaluate the relationship in its entirety.
Two people, faced with the exact same scenario, will take away different lessons. Which is one of the many facets of life that is so awesome (and aggravating, and filled with opportunity, and frustrating, and interesting, and…)
Sometimes a painful experience can be a good teacher and sometimes a bad situation is just something to get through.
In Conclusion: No Regrets
Sometimes I feel I’m off course and I find myself living with regrets. When I become aware that it’s time to course correct, I try to bring it back to the basics of human interaction. Which brings me back to…
I try to be nice.
I try to be kind.
I try to be helpful.
I look for these same attributes in others.
And when I or someone else falls short of perfection, change occurs. Sometimes change occurs that I desire to embrace and sometimes change occurs that I battle against, but it will generally bring change. As I change, I try to keep sight of achieving the overarching goal of living without regrets—whatever that means for a given situation.