Grieving in Solitude
Today, in this continuing series of blogs on self care during a period of grief, I discuss the category of Solitary Activities. If you missed the last post about the importance of Exercising, click here.
After the death of a close loved one (e.g., spouse, partner, parent, child) you may lose your identity a little bit. You may have identified yourself as the spouse/partner of your dead loved one, or the parent of your dead loved one, or the child of your dead loved one.
Now that the person who you defined yourself by is dead, you may question who you are.
You may not remember who you are without your loved one, so let me remind you…
THIS is Who You Are
- You are awesome.
- You are the best friend you’ll ever have.
- You are living in the only body made specifically for your soul for this lifetime.
Grieving: Finishing the Previous Chapter / Beginning the Next Chapter
As you begin to live the next chapter of your life, you may need some time alone to think—to consider who you want to be and what you want to do in this next life chapter. You also need to metaphorically finish writing your last chapter so you can move into the future.
In my opinion, the only way to (metaphorically) finish writing your previous life chapter and begin writing your next life chapter is to spend some time alone.
Finding time for introspection and for engaging in solitary activities that bring you joy will help heal your grief.
Here are a few suggestions to consider:
- Communicate with your dead loved one.
- Go to a movie.
- Listen to music.
- Work in the yard or garden.
- Journal your thoughts.
- Watch a funny sitcom.
Depression and Grief
Although it can be cathartic to spend some time alone, it is easy to fall into a depressed state and isolate yourself after a death. Every person is different. Listen to your body and mind and give yourself the time you need alone, but also find ways to engage with other living people. Your dead loved one wants you to LIVE. Comfort yourself, but don’t remove yourself from the world of the living.