Sometimes a loved one dies before you’ve had a chance to resolve all of your differences. Sometimes you were the offending party; sometimes the person now in spirit was the offender.
In a spirit communication session with a medium, forgiveness can evoke powerful emotion—on both sides of the veil. Forgiveness can be very healing—both given and received.
Forgiving a Transgression
One way of letting go of past hurt is to imagine the situation from the other person’s perspective. To do this, it is important to remove all of your emotion from the situation and focus on the facts of what occurred.
- Is the transgression against you really just a misunderstanding? Was your loved one inept at effective communication?
- Was the act intentional or accidental? Was it an act of omission or commission?
- If the act was rooted in anger, what was the root cause of that anger?
Sometimes by reframing the situation from another person’s perspective, you can more easily feel compassion for the imperfect person (as we’re ALL imperfect) that hurt you. You may also find in some situations that you may have played a role that led to the breakdown of the relationship.
Obviously, there are a lot of scenarios which can be salved by words of forgiveness. Some transgressions are only small slights which have been allowed to fester, whereas some transgressions are wholly vile and unforgivable acts.
I came across this quote a while back that I have found really useful:
“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
Unfortunately, when I tried to find who to attribute that quote to, I was unable to do so. The closest I found were quotes by Jonathan Lockwood Huie:
“Forgiveness is the salve that heals the wounds of unkind words and acts. Forgive everyone for every hurt you have ever received – for your own sake, that you may live in peace.”
“Forgiving others is a gift to yourself, given not because the other deserves pardon, but because you deserve the serenity and joy that comes from releasing resentment and anger, and from embracing universal forgiveness.”
“Forgive those who have injured you – not because they deserve your forgiveness, but because you can never be happy until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.”
It is possible some unknown person paraphrased a Jonathan Lockwood Huie quote from memory; or perhaps someone created the quote and just didn’t receive proper attribution. I don’t know. What I DO know is that those are pretty powerful words—especially when the pain is so raw and your feelings about the situation are so hardened and impenetrable.
The Gift of Forgiveness
Ultimately, I believe forgiveness of another person is a gift you give yourself. In the words of Jonathan Lockwood Huie:
“Forgiving is not a gift to someone else. Forgiving is your gift to yourself – a great gift – the gift of happiness.”
“Forgiveness is the cleansing fire that burns away old regrets and resentments.”
“Forgiveness of all people and all acts – is a sure path to happiness.”