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Home» Grief » Are you Grieving Right?

Are you Grieving Right?

Posted by Cindy - August 19, 2015 - Grief

Of course the answer to that question is “Yes”.

“Helpful” (and not so helpful!) Comments

There is no universal “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Although you may feel like you’re somehow grieving “wrong” based upon comments made by well-meaning friends or family, there is no such thing as grieving “wrong”.

We all grieve in our own unique way.

Degrees of Grief

Personally, I feel that grieving is a way for me to find the “new normal” that no longer includes the incarnation of that person in my life. Depending upon how involved that person was in my life before his/her body died, determines my approach to grieving.

For someone who was only tangentially in my life, the grief process might be short-lived or even seem non-existent. Whereas, the death of someone who was an integral part of my daily life may evoke feelings of grief weeks, months, or even years after my loved one has crossed over.

Living with Grief

Grief can occur and reappear unexpectedly. Sometimes deep feelings of loss aren’t felt until long after the funeral. I think sometimes delayed grief occurs because the feelings of shock keep the body on autopilot to help you get through what you have to get through to make the funeral arrangements and bid farewell to your loved one’s body. However, only after you have time to reflect and allow yourself to assimilate the death are you able to experience all the feelings associated with your loss.

Emotional Grieving

You may find yourself experiencing incongruous feelings such as both relief and sadness, or both anger and joy. Although I stand by my perspective that there is no “right” way to grieve, I have personally found it useful to allow myself to feel every emotion that rises to the top. ALL of your emotions are acceptable. To better understand your grief, ask yourself WHY you feel a certain emotion.

Take the time you need

Do the activities that suit you

Skip the activities that aren’t helpful

…and most importantly…

Be gentle with yourself!

Sunflower

 

Related posts:

  1. Grieving Self Care Tip: Solitary Activities
  2. Grieving the Ideal Parent
  3. Grief is not a Group Activity
  4. The Raw Emotion of Grief
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